love, RZ

stay.

2011-06-26T13:54:00.001+08:00

It didnt hurt you as much as it hurt me to beg you to stay everytime we had a fight. I’m a girl and I beg too much cause you mean so much to me. I honestly hope you would do the same thing to me. No, I need you to do the same thing to me. For me to feel appreciated and not wasted.

I’m always gonna be here, I’m not going anywhere cause I have no place to be at. You scarred me everytime you were about to leave and you didnt realize how much pain it caused me. Its easy for you to leave me while it actually scars me real bad when you did that.

I dont mean any trouble, it just happened and please work with me. Its like I am the only one who be the way you want me to be while you dont actually know what I want you to be. I did all those things just so you can stay and never leave, but it gets worst when I have done it all and you still dont know what I’ve wanted. All I want is you to be there for me and to understand how I felt when you want to leave. How I felt when its easy for you to just leave while its hard for me to accept.

I just want to feel wanted, needed, appreciated and mostly loved. I never wanted to feel wasted. The reason why I did those things to you is also because I want myself to be thanked, blessed for having me by your side.

Honestly, it didnt hurt you as much as it hurt me to still stay and be here with you cause I believe that we’re gonna go through this thing even if it gets worst, no matter what. No matter what, I’m always here, always gonna be here, always stay.

A condition for me to ever leave you is that you found someone better to love and be happy with. In that case, I will leave you as much as it hurts me to. It does not matter to me as long as you are happier than you were with me.

Please, I love you so much. Dont go. No matter what it takes just say you’ll stay.

love, RZ

currently ♥

2011-05-03T00:57:00.002+08:00

watching you sleep is my passion.

love, RZ

thelifeimlivingwith

2011-05-03T00:45:00.004+08:00

♥

love, RZ

love you so much.

2011-04-22T03:45:00.002+08:00

inspiring pictures, loving the 3rd picture.

love, RZ

the life im living with.

2011-04-15T14:34:00.003+08:00

love, RZ

mad at you.

2011-04-15T14:31:00.002+08:00

i was upset last night, its history that i was so mad till i slept around 13hrs last night after school. i slept through the pain cause i forget about everything when i sleep. everyone does.

love, RZ

love (copy pasted from my tumblr. yes i have one)

2011-04-04T21:51:00.002+08:00

I love you. I meant what I said yesterday. who’s the best dude I’ve ever dated, yeah its you, truthfully saying. cause you chose to stay after all we’ve been thru, ups and downs you’re still there, still tend to be with me, still wanna be part of my life, still wanna have those silly arguments & annoying stuff I made to you. Losing you would be the biggest scar anyone could ever make. Sorry that you have to go thru the hard times with me. Sorry that you have to feel my punch every morning. I love you so much not to do those things to you. and believe it or not, my heart still beats like the way it was from the first day you made the sweetest thing to me, every morning waiting for you at the dining hall. I wish that I’m going thru my life with you as long as we were destined for. ♥

love, RZ

kisses.

2011-04-01T13:06:00.004+08:00

1 song, thousands of memories. wish that we can get back to that night where everything seems right ♥ love you

love, RZ

so much

2011-03-15T14:48:00.003+08:00

i know its simple but thats what I really felt whenever I am around you. I love you so much, and now I'm brave enough to say so much. you know why.

love, RZ

inspiring pictures

2011-03-13T12:16:00.004+08:00

some inspiring pictures i stole from afiq salleh's tumblr :-)

i love this the most!

all girls want

i want this

lovely smoked-rose

so true

what i loathe about love.

love, RZ

movie night

2011-03-12T22:29:00.003+08:00

watching disini ada hantu with the cousins

love, RZ

its just a dream

2011-03-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

love, RZ

LOL

2011-03-11T14:10:00.002+08:00

LOL. I wish I will never date that kind of guy cause hell yeah I LOVE MY SLEEP. hahaha!

love, RZ

random

2011-03-11T13:28:00.003+08:00

forever alone panda.

love, RZ

wajah~

2011-03-10T18:59:00.004+08:00

WAJAAAAAAH~ iatah orang minum red bull ni!

while doing my homework. ni sampai show off muscle ah, cawir jua eh orang ani. CAWIRRR! :P

love, RZ

afraid.

2011-03-09T19:01:00.003+08:00

I'm so scared this would happened.

I'm afraid loving you too much will make you turn your back on me.

I'm afraid to give you as much as I can and you wont give me as much as I want.

I'm afraid that you were about to leave when I need you the most.

I'm afraid to give you everything cause when you leave, I'll have nothing.

Yes, I'm being so gay cause I love you too much already

love, RZ

angel

2011-03-07T19:49:00.002+08:00

ly.

love, RZ

all my life....

2011-03-06T20:03:00.001+08:00

love, RZ

what makes you smile each day?

2011-03-06T19:14:00.003+08:00

love, RZ

wishlist!

2011-03-05T19:50:00.003+08:00

yes, i want these kinda face so badly :( haha, yeah thats me in a cleaner version. :(

dream on :(

love, RZ

dianna agron

2011-02-23T14:45:00.000+08:00

hi, I'm straight but I can be gay whenever you want me to :)

love, RZ

maggie Q

2011-02-22T19:32:00.006+08:00

she doesnt have any packs, she has only got abs. yes, i can be like her HAHAHA

omg, youre thin like me!! i can be like you!!!

omg, i love you. i want your body, i want your thick lips!

love, RZ

long hair.

2011-02-21T17:14:00.005+08:00

so i was vaain :P i know hehe cause im so excited over my -ontheway- long hair :3 and i smiled like that cause i was imitating shay mitchell from PLL. damn she's so hot! tall and so tanned! love you

love, RZ

beautiful, sexy, hot...

2011-02-21T12:24:00.004+08:00

trust me when I said you're sexy. you really are. Im serious. :@

It turns me off if you said you're not when you actually are.

whenever Im down about myself, I listen to this. you should do too cause you I love you more when you actually admit it that you're sexy

I love you ♥

love, RZ

lovelovelovelove

2011-02-20T22:03:00.006+08:00

lovelovelovelovelovelove you so much!

love you!

love, RZ

update

2011-02-20T13:26:00.003+08:00

so hello! :D

by just capturing that photo up there, you can tell what I've been doing. yes, hehe. so the first tab, yes Im listening to hold my hand by MJ & akon. the 2nd & 3rd tab tells you that Im searching for facebook layout and there you go, 'music is life' and look at the yellow black stripes! so lawa. The 4th, yes this page, the music is my life page. :) 5th was twitter, ma life. and 6th again was facebook, just updating myself with the homepage :D

so, the lower tab shows you that I am online but technically I am appearing offline. 2nd tab was yeah google chrome. 3rd was videos! yes..... so here's the story. I've watched VD but then i fell asleep yesterday morning and whenever there's a shocking scene i woke up -_-' so then I re-watched it again this noon. and I decided to watch other movies I've downloaded, and turned out.. Its not a movie! Its a blue flame!! lol. regret, but I skipped it, didnt watched it, just skipped it. so yeah, there's a two movies in it -_-' its called red riding hood xxx parody -_-' dont try to download it, I warned you!!

so thats it i think? haha till then~ :)

love, RZ

worthness

2011-02-18T03:06:00.003+08:00

kissed, hugged, or any other things. yeah, its not easy :3 HAHAHA.

love, RZ

stare

2011-02-17T17:51:00.010+08:00

the moment when somebody stares you like, the 'crush stare'

and he stares when you had a talk with your friends:

and then you noticed it you were like teasing them by staring them back:

and they got shy for realizing that you realized youve been stared at:

and you on the other hand were like:

but reality in the inside you were actually like:

translation to this picture: OMGOMG HE STARED AT ME!!!

cause thats just how I felt :3

love, RZ

dear christina perri

2011-02-17T14:00:00.002+08:00

Im obsessed with you

I love your clothing

I love your tattoos

I love your teeth

I love your songs

I LOVE YOU THE MOST!

love, RZ

dear twitter

2011-02-17T02:06:00.003+08:00

happy 30,000th tweet my baby :3 i've been on twitter since 15th january 2010 :D

love, RZ

sexy.

2011-02-17T01:00:00.001+08:00

i find these sexy. hehe!

love, RZ

gallery

2011-02-16T17:45:00.002+08:00

ive always wanted someone to draw a picture of me :] so here it is! hehe

love, RZ

webby

2011-02-16T10:35:00.004+08:00

the eyes

this is so cute :P

love, RZ

gay

2011-02-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

the gay you see in the picture.. is gay :] my gay.

love, RZ

must watch!

2011-02-14T13:26:00.006+08:00

yes, must watch! by just a glimpse of that photo you'll know that this is an uncensored movie. Its not the sex I want you guys to watch. Its about the dude and the girl! He's the famous type, the love and throw girls kind of type, the never say i love you kind of type. so yeah, when he met this girl, whose a bigger bad ass than him, he finally fell in love with her. but then at first, she was just playing around. Its like she's the, "Im just having a fling sex with you, so dont introduce me to your family" type.

she had this disease called parkinson's disease. at first I thought it was aids cause she got this twitching fingers. but then yeah, its the disease. things get complicated when he knew and she told him to stay away from him, aint worth if he waste his money on her disease and he did go at first and came back for so many reason :))

just dont take the sex part seriously, concentrate on the movies and you'll love it! :)

your eyes, your lips. i love you! ♥

love, RZ

reasons why.

2011-02-14T03:38:00.005+08:00

because you did those things with me

because you wanna do all those things with me

because you make me feel alive

because you make me feel happy & bad at the same time

because you made me realize my mistakes

because we did it together, realizing our mistakes

because you're not afraid what happened next when you're with me

because you are being you when you're with me

because you're being gay with me and for me

because you're vulnerable and strong at the same time for me

because we gave up with each other for certain things that we must

-and thats why I love you.

love, RZ

fall

2011-02-13T20:10:00.003+08:00

Im falling for this picture all over again, made the blood in my vein flows very the fast! ♥

love, RZ

face palm!

2011-02-12T14:06:00.002+08:00

-______-'

love, RZ

fyi ppl.

2011-02-11T21:41:00.005+08:00

so cute :]

been keeping this ever since we had the party in our school. and i find this interesting cause i know you were actually doing it on purpose. hahah cause you know where to look at, and instead you looked at me, twice. have these on my phone, for a long time sudah. i love you, i hate myself sometimes when i had to face-palm myself whenever i have embarrassed myself infront of you.

yes its true that the past we've gone through made me love you more each day. and im sorry that you had to read this blog :S full of emotions, heart-breaking, faulty language, emotional break down and some other things that you might not like :S the past post i still kept doesnt mean i still remember it till now. whats more important is the present.

i ♥ you

love, RZ

my future.

2011-02-11T13:39:00.004+08:00

so I was worried when my dad and I were signing up subjects for me to study in PTEK. so, I chose, Geography, Computing & Maths. I asked myself what am I gonna be with those subjects? Im so very much worry about what am I gonna be -_-' yes cause I dont wanna be a computer teacher, JUST a computer teacher. or any other teacher I can be, cause babah told me that day was that 'at least you have the basic kan about computer and you can be a computer teacher with that'. and I was like :O hopes crushed. I dont wa

nna be a computer teacher or just any other computer teacher :( so i asked Deena & Pauline about what am I gonna be with those subjects...

wala: computer engineering.

well, i hope so. cause it wont be easy, and I am trying my best. cause Its only for 2 years studying there and 2 years arent that long to study for as much as we can. :S so yeah, 2 years, aint gonna waste my time. Im sticking with my words here.

so babah also told me to concentrate these 2 years and he estimated me by the time im 21, i'll be a successful young woman. hahah. so yeah this is what I had in mind.

yes, that would be me and my mum :) I'll be single, 21, hot, rich, independent queen, riding a mcfly ;) yes, thats what Im gonna be. and my mother, is always in the picture of my future. and therefore. there's a song for that.

love, RZ

early in the morning.

2011-02-11T10:19:00.003+08:00

so this is what i do early in the morning when i found out my torrentz are 100% working ;)

and yeah, you guess it. my baby flood my wall. lav it.

i think thats all haha, so till then :)

love, RZ

sore eyes

2011-02-10T10:32:00.004+08:00

sore eyes

update~

2011-02-09T08:26:00.000+08:00

omg baby im loving you so much. ♥ ♥

you are so sexy. so very much sexy. i love you all the way ♥

and this, i found this on deena's tumblr. i wish that you could do this to me chad!! ♥

something

2011-02-08T17:22:00.000+08:00

loving this.

lost & found

2011-02-04T18:56:00.000+08:00

nur damia rafhanah. so cute hahah!

rabby plays rugby

2011-02-04T18:24:00.000+08:00

this is an obsession. except for the heels

my job

2011-02-04T17:07:00.001+08:00

i create twitter background.

explain

2011-01-27T14:32:00.001+08:00

exactly explains what i'm feeling right noooooooow. damn it. you never fail to make me smile.

RZ :)

vulnerable

2011-01-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

I can just end it whenever I want. Whenever I need.. Whenever I have to.. But thats just it, I cant..

and its really hard for me to do it.. Cause you're the reason why. Make use of me, cause i feel hopeless and worthless when she's around. Cause i feel I'm being wasted for all this time. I'm so sorry that I'm too vulnerable, cant even handle a thing. I cant help myself not to think that way and not to do those things to you. If you could just say it in front of my face how sorry you were, i would have been better, but i think its just getting worst when you're not telling me the truth. I've tried not to but I still am. Its so hard when you're not even trying. I'll do it if you're doing it. The first step is always welcomed to you, but no, you tend to choose the 2nd one and it was your choice. It can end anytime when I'm tired but I just cant let it happen. Show me that you're worth to keep, show me everything that's worth inside of you. I'm not saying you aint that worth, I'm saying you're still hiding it. Show me what's inside of you that made me still holding on.

15 things.

2011-01-24T21:17:00.001+08:00

15 things guys Hate about girls :D

1. being high maintenance

2. wear those stupid Ug boots (only other girls find them to be “cool” NO guy over the age of 14 likes them, they look ridiculous.)

3. wearing gigantic sunglasses that cover half the face

4. thinking any celebrity is a role model

5. uneducated

6. lack confidence

7. trashy

8. disrespectful to parents and elders

9. smelly

10. needy.

11. not having a good sense of humour

12. not having a semi-dirty mind at least some of the time

13. saying they are ugly

14. saying they are fat

15. think you never fall asleep

girls, we must know this.

RZ :)

comparison

2010-11-15T09:11:00.000+08:00

here. scarlett johnson. i dont know if its the same. but. for me sikit :s besides, this is the first artist i can compare with hahah!

this is my cousin zahirah. before & after baby! 2 years ago on the left

RZ :)

2 years ago.....

2010-11-15T08:17:00.000+08:00

ok, i was bored... and i saw these:

langkawi

perlis at mak long's house

perlis at..idontknowwho's house

beside me was my cousin zahirah. yes, thats how she looked like 2 years ago. me? I DIDNT CHANGE A BIT! except my face -_-'

i look like someone here! i'll compare it after this post

airport, sok sok cooool! HAHAHA and tell you what. if that spec was original, my eyes werent clearly captured HAHAHA

in the bus on our way to sempadan thailand? dont remember :s

at mak long's house during abang musa's wedding

RZ :)

pictures of me! :]

2010-11-12T17:54:00.000+08:00

mia's first attempt to capture my photo! :D hahaha i chose this cause i looked so mess up hahaha

yes, she took this all by her self :]

danish kept on hitting the side of my body, it tickled me so much and so he fell hahaha

this is cute :]

danish was.. whats this? pinching? lol

me: bah danish cubit lagi pipi mia!

danish acted like that instead of pinching mia's cheek

mia: bah aku saja sendiri! HAHAHA

this is so cute! :]

naughty danish hid my smile!

say whaat? HAHAH

mia took this! :D

this is cute :3

mia in action! :D

sorry for this picture HAHAHAH pornography! kids under 13 cannot see this photo, i repeat. CANNOT. lol

i miss you :]

RZ :)

skype!

2010-11-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

yes, im blogging randomly at the moment. this is my mom and see those comment over there, yes, thats my dad. they dont have any works to do even they sleep in 1 roof, yes they still do this. so jobless! but i love them!

skyping with rusydina idris! and this is the result! this is not rusydina idris, this is farel!

so cute :3

so anyway, baie wah kan that guy. i know you were just joking but i take it seriously cause i was not in the mood tadi! and i felt better after skyping with deena. :] and ate chocolate, yes chocolate made me okay. why didnt i think of that earlier? -_-' it makes me hyper! so, till then :]

RZ :)

spill it.

2010-11-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

please tell me youre just kidding cause after all you and me gone through, after all we had, please tell me youre just kidding. cause i dont know what exactly i felt right after you post that tweets. Im somehow feeling kind of happy but, yes im so mad at the same time. and i never thought of this before, never thought saying 'no' to you. cause i am gonna say no to you. cause you know why? I have been so tired to chase you, i know its not that long but getting those worst kind of feedback is so aching. and when i saw those tweet, i was like. 'apakan? banar kah ia ani? tell me youre not serious. no, its not me seriously. be positive its not me' and when you replied me. i was so happy at first then, i dont feel anything. yes, i do want you back, but not as my lover. but as the one who'll support me, as the one who's gonna make me strong like you did yesterday. yes, i do love you but, its just too late to change my mind. Ive been shedding my tears for you ever since you left and you asked me to forget all about you and i did, technically, a little bit. but yes, i do happy that you're back but im not happy if you want me back. get what i mean? i just need time to make me feel okay.

and if you were just joking, please stop it. we did talked about the bully thingy but not in this case, not with the feelings. cause i might get sensitive with it and i might be confused of who to choose. but i am not now, i know who. its like choosing you again will make myself even worst. you know when you had a relationship with that someone, you got these future ahead of you guys, thinking about what happened next. i thought of that with you and i cant see it anymore, with you. i cant see it. im seeing it with someone else, cause that future i'd been imagining for the past few months had been gone since you left. its like i'll never be with you again and now you come back? still, i dont see anything. but the future seemed so bright on the first chapter of our story, it really was.

but im serious here, if you chose to come back, im only going back to you as a friend. i know i've been saying too much posts about you, but im just saying it, im not hoping it. just saying it. but if you hope for a change, like you said, lets just be friends. i bully you and you bully me, it'll be okay that way though sometimes you can be deceiving. we'll never know. but yes, i do. i'll pray for a change too. cause what i saw this morning, what i feel under my chest, is something that i didnt feel for almost months since you had left me. maybe its just a crush, maybe not. so what im trynna say here is that be serious, elaborate more and i will understand more. cause you seemed so serious -_-' and that tweets just aint enough for me to understand what does it meant. if youre just kidding, i'll take it that the last time ive ever trusted you in those kinda case. cause feelings cant be lied, cant be played. you know, ive given you all i got. you know that, we both know that. if now is the time you just realised it, im so gonna pity you. ive never given these much. but if you do realised, thank you for all your feedback :] im asking nicely and i wanna understand more. so please, im currently not in the mood cause my sister -_-' and when ive heard the love the way you lie part2 song, my emotional break down is increasing. therefore, i'll just wrote it on blog. just dont let you get away from my sight, thats all i want and i'll be okay.

so please, dont let me beg like zekzek kachingzz.

RZ :)

yesterday was a different day.

2010-11-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

"yesterday was a different day, sounded like broken records are playing." -eminem

so yeah, i have a new dp now, im so jobless and therefore i made myself this one, i know its rugged :]

this? this is the life i have been gone through currently, with my dearest dearest bestfriend. i was so boring and got nothing to do, i went outside just to watch tv and still boring, so i invited deena to have a webcam with me! :D and... i havent take my bath in this picture and it was like 6+ haha! since the day before after school. HAHAHAHA. shit.

sipitness!

this is the siblings vs me!

and that night too, i was so hungry and finally babah arrived home without sweat (playing badminton but no one's playing spend his supposed-to-be badminon's hours at the jerudong beach). i asked him to have a dinner right, and so i choose the steamboat :]

here it where began, me and mama. lots of where it came from but.. unnecessary to be uploaded haha

and i forgot to use chopstick -_-' but last night went well! all of them knows how except me -_-'

RZ :)

love the way you lie part2

2010-11-05T16:48:00.000+08:00

loving this song to the fullest!

RZ :)

a million kisses.

2010-11-04T18:54:00.000+08:00

i love this! and this is for you :] you dont need a dollar baby to steal this heart of mine~

RZ :)

here i go..

2010-11-03T14:38:00.000+08:00

my bruneian next top model niece! vote for her :]

lol, sorry for this pose HAHAHA

me: buat macam inda tau saja mia! and she made this HAHAH cute!

i dont know why o post this picture maybe i looked fat here :p

so the afternoon, ive decided to go to deena's house. stole some pictures of deena and :| theres this one picture of her, she didnt want to give me :s have to find 1 picture of mine thats embarrasing to her. hahah! spent my precious time with her the whole afternoon :] love you!! thank you for spending your time with me :] all i want is that moment, and was wishing for more :p but.. nevermind :] you with on my birthday is just enough :]

yes, i look ugly, dont mention it :]

so last night ngah jumat texted me up to bring me out to dinner with bucu & and her friend. so yeah we had it at syabu syabu. didnt really had the pictures of me and them :S but it was nice one, really. so i was bullying bucu but we had a conversation before that.

bucu: kawan bucu cakap happy birthday.

me: kawan bucu yang mana ni?

bucu: banci ku kau ani eh, buleh sudah ditabung ni kali

me: HAHAHA (i thought she didnt get my joke, but.. yeah she get it HAHAH she stared at me like 2 minutes and got a mad feedback)

bucu: ia cakap masih kanak2 kah?

me: awu kanak2 ni masih umur 16 kaliah sudah!

bucu: bucu sudah cakap apa yang kau cakap tadi. ya cakap, bah mainan saja tu eh (-_-')

me: bah manasaja tah, tshirt kah. tapi batah tu eh adek baru dapat?

bucu: HAHAH awu lah, 11/11 baru tah dapat tu barang ah HAHAHA

me: bah asal ada saja.. anyway, yang kawan bucu siring ani, masa atu di batu satu yang inda jadi turun kah?

bucu: hahahha awuu, (stared me like what)

me: i see

bucu talking to ngah jumat: si aton becakap.. inda kau membawa aku ah disini ani

me: eh bucu bagitau kah durang? :S

bucu: awu... kenapa?

me: nada.. karang atu jua tuu durang..

ngah jumat: lain urang lain hadiah~

me: tapi karang durang cakap.. awuu, masa bufday ku nada kana lanja.. :S

bucu: (her so-called-a joke to me-quote made me touched, on my birthday!) eh.. kau yang kesayangan juaa..

me: ah... iawah? :'] terharu adek eh

bucu: antah kau eh, tabung karang kau disana ah. HAHAHA

me: HAHAHA. cali bucu ani, bucu sorang tah saja bucu adek yang paling cali

bucu: hahahaha buleh sudah ditabung ni kau ah!

me: HAHAHAHAHA. tapi rugged.

bucu: awu ah, rugged ah? HAHAHAH

end conversation (theres something more.. but this was the only interesting part)

i love you guys :]]

so.. i was about to approach babah tonight, to have a dinner with him but... -_-' he went to kk just this noon.. and it broke my heart so much -_-' and mama cakap: ada jua lagi hari lain kaliah, balik jua lagi babah. me: eh habis tia bufday adek.. sigh.. yes mocking bird for you babah!

ive edited 2 pictures of yusuf, the first was okay i guess? but the 2nd was.. :S bida.

oh yeah i was so sober last night.. midnight i think or was it during dawn? i know this gonna hurt someone, but this is all i can do to make myself feel better. just to express how i feel and just to make you understand why i cried so much cause it all aint a joke to me. i dont intend to hurt anyone here. just to understand what i really meant. and you, i do love you & i dont want you to go. just stay and give me some time to leave my past. dawn on 3rd november i wrote this:

RZ :)

:] :]

2010-10-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

wow im so vain tonight :O i tied my hair and yeah i looked like im hairless. lol

few stories here to share. first of all, i dreamed about something last night and it was so wonderful :] it was about me and my classmates being together for almost 4 years with their own partners. as for me, my own old seatmate partner :] hehe. so yeah, we were all having our good moments :] and we got our own cars, so cool :] i hope my dream will come true :]

so next was: we were having hi tea at nenek's crib. talking about exams and all. and here was an issue about maths :| me and qilah are having.. slightly a fight. lol we fought about photocopy, she wants it right away after me photocopying the maths june2010 paper1.. and i was like, 'ah? awal ani kah?' -demanding. and so i have to demand my brother too who was so not in a good mood of having me to go to the photocopy store. im so mad, signal mama about it and finally, yeah. so.. nothing much happened after that. and i spilled out my moment just now with deena & irah. love them both, they made me calm just by talking to them.

so now, here i am. and im not talking about you :] and you know yourself have a better looking appearance, just dont misuse it to get what you really want---> hot girls. cause you know why? its hurt. it really does. if you love someone, you gotta love them all no matter how annoying they can be, otherwise, it aint love. youre a grown up, you should know better than picking someone's younger than you to have them as your girlfriend. im not hating you cause what you did, im just hating you cause you dont know how does it feels like to be... left. well i was like you, was. but then after you left, i just realise that, it aint cool what you just did.

why am i talking this shit again? -yeah. because i care and thats it. imma stop now. :] just think wise, i know you can handle yourself but hey, im just giving some suggestions :] i know im just 2 more days to be 16 years old and lets just not fight by updating our status okay? lets just not. and im done blogging. assalamualaikum :]

RZ :)

:]

2010-10-31T14:12:00.000+08:00

:] i had a nice dream last night.. seriously nice dream.. tapi, cali somehow. hahaha but it was really nice! mad me smile everytime i thought of it. and you dont know how glad i am to hear your feedback once again :] ♥

RZ :)

:]

2010-10-30T19:41:00.001+08:00

my new smile.. :] macam apa!

2 days to go :] and im all excited to be 16 years old

! :] this was yeah, few minutes ago. while waiting for the rain to stop with no jobs to do (cause i set my cars to be finished in 4 hrs & no one to chat with :[ ) so yeah, i blogged! and.. im using my baju kurung right now cause there's a bebadak ceremony across the street.. so mama said it'll be fine if we just have to standby while waiting for the rain to stop.. :D fai walled me earlier saying that '2 hari lagi dek~ ;D ' hahah and i cant replied her wall so i just commented it. :] so excited. but me and fee mohammad are just the only twins thats gonna turn to 16 :[ syaidi & cigu zatul also had the same date with mine :] so excited hehe!

BUCUUUUUUUUUUUU! forgot my birthday :] (sarcasm) and she's off. HEHEHE peluang yang amat besar! :D but.. im not sure, lol. so till then :] till my birthday! HEHEHE. :] bye!

RZ :)

hai :DD

2010-10-29T20:34:00.000+08:00

heeelllooo :D im just feeling so.. high, so hyperactive :D 3 days to go for my 16th birthday :D im so excited lol. i wanna grow. HAHAH. so.. i have wishes to do..my 1st wish has come true.. but i want it to happen again, in a simple way just like that. 2nd wish, i want it from my dad :D hahah krita, i book ah bah ah? :D and, its been 2 years ive been using adek moksin, so i think its time for me to change ma name :D bash helped me out though. so im gonna change it into RabiatulZ Moksin lol. yes, on the 0000pm of 2nd november i'll change it right away :D that is if im not asleep yet.

and oh yeah, ziqah thought that im still 15! lol :p and i told her to eat cheese :D hahahah

and.. what we have here... is the love of my life! :D im just snapping it cause it sounded so cool deena. and pauline cheong siew yin! was asleep for the whole day! she spent her most valuable time to sleep >:| so angry. lol.

yes, ive been spending ma whole life time to wall deena! :D

with you is where id rather be~~ ♥

this was a few minutes ago, like i said, im feeling hyper. and im just showing something, yes something :D

finished pauline's food! yes, i know. like i said, im jobless. so now:

found new songs! :D
watched vampire diaries
babah is home already :D bringing white car home :p
im playing car town now :D
im catching up amen! :p
ma birthdaaay is coming soon! :D
and i had so much to say!
but first of all, let me start this thing once again. :)

so that dude, i added him back. i wanna know why and its because my birthday. thanks! :) im confused at first, but im okay now :) i know who to spend my life with, now. lol~ so.. thanks for everything :)

and now, the songs! :D

with you is where id rather be~~

yeah, its so slow but i love it. and the lyrics are so.. touching! i got this song from vampire diaries ;)

i have so much things to stay, but i'll just end it here :)

RZ :)

ahhh! ♥

2010-10-27T02:06:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh! melts*

loving this song so much! theres a story behind this. ahhhhh ♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ you ;)

RZ :)

why oh why?

2010-10-26T11:13:00.001+08:00

why did you add me back?

why you private your wall?

why did you leave me?

why am i so into you?

why these feelings wont go away?

why do you tend to hurt me so much since you left?

why do you even bother to add me back when you know that i cant control myself when you're on my homepage?

WHY?

the answer is all in you.

im talking to myself. i started questioning myself, i started wondering why, i started to find something inside me that made you leave. i started all those because of you.

i cant do it if you cant answer me. just tell my why on those que

stions i had in mind and i'll leave you alone. i want to know why you left me. well i know 1 thing for sure that you left me cause im no good for you, cause you dont have anything for me left. thats why.

but i want to know what have i done wrong?

i wanted to text you for this though its kinda late to us. but you made me hesitated for what you have done. (adding me back, lol) youre giving hopes to me. hopes to love you back. i dont wanna do that cause i was so confident and so sure, in fact over confident, to be with this guy. and you ruined it, you made me fall for you all over again. you dont know how much it costs for me to do it all over again, im tired of this game. i do want you back if you want me to, but if you just tend to hurt me again, i wont go.

i cried over you. i cried all over again just for you. this aint funny to cry over a guy. cause i barely cry for them. they think im crazy to fall for a guy like you, but you're all i had, that time. i was talking to myself, not talking.. questions inside me, is that talking? no right? so yeah, i was questioning myself, though it looks like im crazy to think what you have done and im still in love with you.

i was trynna get to you, talking to the moon was just a conversation

to be with you. in hopes you on the other side, talking to me too. but yeah, you walked with someone else. wasnt that enough to show to me, to prove to me that you're over me? i know im stupid. stupid to think that you actually had feelings for me too but i was wrong. seeing you with someone else was clear enough to put myself aside.

to think that the picture is lying, about that his pillow's wet is a wrong opinion. cause i cried a lot and yeah, my pillow is wet cause i wipe my tears with it. cause my face is all over it, cause thats the only thing i can hug when no one's beside me.

yes, im feeling so emotional right now. all because of that song. talking to the moon by bruno mars and its the first song on my blog.

so now, the question is: when will i get over you?

RZ :)

talking to the moon

2010-10-26T07:52:00.000+08:00

this song is actually, somehow for my ex.. there was the time when i messaged him like crazy. talking to myself and he didnt reply. i missed him like crazy and he didnt even reply. i dont know what to do, but i trusted him that break up is not what he wanted. but it was that he actually wanted, the break up. i cant do anything, i was so broken hearted, and he actually didnt do anything. just left, with a long big scar across my heart. saying that he didnt want me no more. i wanted to know the reason but i was just guessing that he was annoyed by me. i was so hurt, cried so hard on that day, just that day. cause i know i'll be okay the next few weeks. 6th september, thats the date. the date you left me alone. the date you actually forgotten your promises. oh yeah! theres no promises when its from you, it was just fake. i loved you that much and still now, a little is because you were so cute :S and your interest on fooball, you can do fishing, you actually baby sit your baby sister, we fight and we get better and better. everybody's trynna tell me that for those days you didnt contact me at all was the days you were fed up with me. i was quite down few days. but yeah, im okay now. but then since you added me back that day, i began to worry. amen and i was okay before that, but you. you made me fall for you again. why did you have to add me back? i was so happy back then and now you ruined it. but its ok, ive removed you and yeah, just be with your girlfriend and im okay.

RZ :)

:')

2010-10-25T07:45:00.000+08:00

i love this dude over here cause he's crying over elena for a break up~ :') i love this dude since just now, since i've just finished watching vampire diaries and... :') he cried over her for a break up! i have to admit, that i love a guy who's willing to cry over me for a break up! :')

i love you, stefan salvatore :')

RZ :)

2010-10-22T12:09:00.001+08:00

testing!

RZ :)

6ixth sense

2010-10-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

i love this picture. tho they're like kissing, but its actually not. apan, yeah. I LOVE THIS hahaha si adi with his gf! :D

you cute! ♥

♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

and im so loving this song to the max! loving it lovvveeeeeee it!

RZ :)

boredom STRIKES!

2010-10-15T17:15:00.001+08:00

ahh yes.. this video.. i cant upload it here but i uploaded it at the youtube :S hahaha. anyway, i know pacah :s i was so boring and it was 2 days i think after i watched gossip girl with this song set as its background. i made a lot of mistake in this video. which is sucks. but i was bored! hahahaha.. so.. i dont know, listen to how awful i might be? :p and this was suppose to be uploaded yesterday, but i guess i hadnt much time :) so... this is it! i was bored.

RZ :)

1st day of olevel.

2010-10-12T10:51:00.001+08:00

i love this photo. bucu took it :)

so first day of olevel, what am i up to?? these pictures explain! hahahah. engish1 gonna be at 2-3.30pm. so wish me luck, and after that, imma buy calculator.. seriously, for the 3rd time :( wish me luck ok :) and will be studying for sure!! after english1. may Allah will always bless us all the form5 students. amin, ya rabballalamin.

RZ :)

charcoal :3

2010-10-11T09:52:00.000+08:00

ok heres the thing i ate yesterday. lamb chop. repeat after me: LAMB CHOP!

omg, im craving for it!

bucu & mama's dishes!

i know im ugly, always been. hahaha W

and the empty dishes starts here :p

these drinks, were finished by me! i mean, yknow..

a day to remember- 10/10/2010 first webcam with you & first lunch at the charcoal :3 thank you bucuuuu! :D and yeah, we talked alot about her new boyfriend? hahahaha. i just kept on laughing cause they only knew each other from fb and on this 11.11.2010 they meet! pecaya? 3 months of dating through phone & facebook and finally they meet? hahahaha! oh well, love birds~

RZ :)

morning! :)

2010-10-10T09:50:00.001+08:00

this is so ugly. thats what i am when i woke up.

random photos, the one i picked when we're at polo. i edit :p cool somehow.

ok, its 10/10/2010 today. everyone's posting it on twitter & facebook. cause the number's cool. and im currently hungry.

RZ :)

hello today!

2010-10-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

ok too much happened lately. last day of raya celebration was held at polo last night. we as in me, irah, qilah & gkah with my mum attended it.

credits to irah, the lighting is so awesome with my pose like that. lol

the people i was with last night. and i saw one of fb friends last night. well, i didnt know till now. he asked me that if that was me last night at the polo and i said yes. and blablabla. and sorry if i clicked 'not now' frequently at this moment cause i dont know anyone :s wont be accepting any strangers starting from now. :s sorry

why i post this picture? cause i have one HAHAHAHAHA! somehow, but not exactly like that lah. i just knew this is called abs. i thought abs=packs. but packs are so in shape, and this is just the.... outer shape, not too detail.

ahh. ok. this last picture? i have no idea what happened here. it just did. well, its on amen's birthday surprise, which i planned it :p with the help of my classmate :) it started on the 6th of october morning. where i didnt have any transport to go back to my place. and so i followed muiz, deena, pauline & we also send ayadey back to his place. so we, as in me, pauline, deena & muiz went to pick up the cake at the lee apple. (my sister helped me with the discount & the booked without my parents knowing it). and yeah, i thanked my brother too! to cover me up to tell mama that he will picked me up late evening, but i was actually out picking up the cake with them and chill skajap at the easy way. we saw teacher vivian! hahaha. pacah. so yeah, i asked my brother to message me if mama went back to her office just yet. and he did & told me to be careful while we were heading to my crib. so.. they had showers too before the surprise. iffah also came to my crib too, well we asked her too. and thanks for the transport iffah! :)) you cool!

so yeah. we surprise amen, i love his expression. it was when.. we, got into his other living room when he turned his back and so me: EHH!! hhaha it was so funny. this is so heavy to hold from the early year of last year. well it was just a crush at the beginning. but its more now :s why am i doing this to my own friend? awkward feelings i had. but yeah, the truth is always ugly :s so yeah, funniest thing ever. he is my seatmate, but now until now. :s cause now, we have our olevel exaams!

so olevel exams is the next topic. here i go.

im the sulker type when it comes to studying. once ive been looked down, i got lost in my own direction to know whether i had any chance to prove to them that i can. especially in bio, my names had been frequently mentioned cause you know, im so weak at it! :( not only bio, physics & chemistry as well. when teacher mentioned my name, the first thing came into my mind is that : ah membari malu :s i know im not that geek but you know, i have feelings. when you did mentioned that, i kinda be at the corner of the room. support is what i need to bring me up. seeing my friends mark doesnt make anything worth yet it makes me down to earth. i know its from my own effort, i know its from my own willing. but sometimes, be nice to me makes me understand more. like maths, im starting to love it, cause teacher, she didnt give us more work to do but she spent time with us more, just to make us understand more. i appreciate miss ag giving us more handouts to read and i know she hadnt have much time with us, but i promise you this. and i always keep my promise, that i will try my best cause this is for my own good. i know its sandi, but.. yes, im not gonna blow up my chance. tho babah doesnt put enough attention on me, though people always looked down on me, though i know myself is so weak to handle this. i will, and i must try my best. crying doesnt solve anything. so in the mood of patriotism right now. lol

wish you all the form5 students the best. especially my class, 5sci3. i have gone through a lot with you guys, moments that i will cherish. you guys are the best classmates ive ever had. i love you guys, may Allah will always be on our side & study smart.

RZ :)

boredom STRIKES!

2010-09-09T15:16:00.001+08:00

i know im ugly and im jobless hahaha. i am so bored sitting here while doing my hws. and so i decided to blog :) well im currently on my twitter and fb. and also blog yeah. its been a while i didnt chat with my gayer. kamarul hahaha. he's so gay.

Assalamualaikum, RZ :)

the hw bio!

2010-09-09T07:31:00.000+08:00

finally! so long ive been waiting. heheh! ive printed it. as soon as deena tweet it i checked my hotmail, download it, save it in my pendrive. and off i go to the living room~~ printing this hw bio :3 now i can rest happily ever after.

buuuuuuuuut! oh yeah :( computer correction :s

Assalamualaikum, RZ :)

well hello there!

2010-09-08T10:52:00.000+08:00

right ok. sorry for not showing up lately :s im so lazy to update but all i did this holiday was to stare this screen. how pathetic ==' anyway, were celebrating ngah masnah's & pak ngah's birthday party on the 5th of september last sunday. it was rusydina's & munirah's birthday too anyway. so yeah, we took so many pictures, you can view it on my facebook too. this is all i post cause its awethome. hahaha

it looks like irah's licking my mouth hahaha!

my twitter dp! :D

ahh. wth? hahaha

and that night i was webcamming with deena and show her kain batik ive got for her. she was searching for it too anyway. so im gonna gave this batik for her :) happy 18th birthday deena! i love you :) thanks for being there always :)

and for the last big thing ive gone through this september is that.. im single.

i just love this picture

and this is so inspiring.

right ok. its been 6 days since the day i was out to jame' for the school trip. yeah, im feeling so down but so numb right now. i ten to change my relationship status few days after that. but yknow, i love you so much, i'll wait for you till you reply all of my messages. guess it turned out to be this way. 6th of september. i never thought this would happen cause i put so much hopes on to you. im not blaming you, yeah. it was me whom always picking a fight with you. im okay with anything but just not paying so much attention for me. but its okay. youre the last person for me this year? ==' though its so much painful for me to feel it everytime i viewed your profile and twitter, to see some updates of yours -though you didnt update that much- that really makes my heart beats unconditionally. the funny part was. i was watching sex and the city that time. and guess what? its the time when jessica alba and his husband to be got married and suddenly everything went blacked out and they didnt get any chances to get married. i was gonna cry for that scene, but it turned out i was crying for myself.. sigh.

so yeah. i still love you. even tho yours have fade. but i thank Allah for bringing you to me, cause you are the best thing that ever happened to me this year. im so grateful to have you once. but now, im feeling so numb. i cant feel anything. no cry, no sad, no frust. but the first day was so hard for me to go through.

i love this song, its from the back up plan. and somehow, the back up plan movie its just like my story. but its just that i had the awful ending and jlo's ending is so sweet. but the part that she said 'theres always a door' which means some kind of sign for that man to go out of her life, is so true in my story.

but yeah, im just gonna let it go. i thought i was gonna fight back for you cause i love you so much, but no. its just like that.

now, blog updated!

Assalamualaikum, RZ :)

:'(

2010-07-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

first thing first, about this 31s july :'( mama didnt allow me to go to gadong cause bbq at grandma's house. im so down just now, just lost lots of tears :'( so really really down :'( but, please mama, im begging you. imma try it again if i can :'(

and second, i tried this application. most used words. im glad that your name is above. i didnt realise it, i used your name 6 times. but yea

h. but then... i tried yours too.

and i found this, so heart breaking. syi is on your status 25 times, you must be loving her like hell :s and look what i found at the end.

yeah my name. the last one. my name. just great. tadi about 31st and now you. imma talk this things karang. :s nicely. just asking, no cari pasal. these things, makes me so down, i cant control this :s seriously, its like i cant do anything if i think of this all the time :s just now seem so great when youre around, now its like.. so heart breaking. but now its no matter, he is mine now. but still, seeing that picture makes me so down. just great. make me frust again. just make me =='

Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :)

update~

2010-07-28T15:26:00.000+08:00

i got these stuff from here, i love her doodles, she cant draw. and the 'how i plan to spend my life with you' is also from her. and these pictures, i got it from her. i love her drawings, and herself is such a beautiful teenager.

this one, i really love.

check it all ;)

hai hello, i know its been a while.. haha im quite busy right now with the sleeping cause im tired, yknow lah puasa right. hahah. and my relationship? i wouldnt say its a bit fading, cause im damnly in love with him. its just that when im not around, he's around. when im around, he's not. how to contact? haiya you ah. theres this time. when i was so angry? i wouldnt say that im angry, but im a little bit upset that he didnt even message me throughout the day. and so i slept lah, i left him some wall. and the most painful part was that, he only replied me 'braah. sorry braahh' im about to cry. and so i ignore and went back to sleep. after sometimes, i was awake kan, yknow that my pc never switched off when i was asleep. and so, i check my other facebook page, ( i always open 4 page, 2 from facebook, 1 from twitter and another from blog), i saw 2 inbox and my heart punds like hell!! i saw this and that and i was like. 'i love you baby, so much i say, so much!' it was on monday when i checked it. i love you baby!! you always knew how to persuade me :s by just like that. i just cant stay mad at you longer :/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

and last night. a lil bit crisis. i was sleeping that time, and i think he checked facebook kali when i was asleep. and then, he walled me. braah, are you awake, im waiting for you.. sorry nada credit and so on bla bla' i was mad that time, i walled him i'll be awake at 10 and he didnt even go online facebook that time :/ and i continue my sleeping, and by that wall posts i saw, it was an hour ago after i awake which was like 2.00am? i am so mad at him masa atu. till tadi pagi ke skulah, i was like no mood awal ==' you ah. and now i went hom, got an inbox.. simple but lovely.... many spaces.... like

i love you ♥

replied a few seconds after i read it ♥♥♥♥ i love you so much baby. you just cant count it, i just cant describe it through wall, i just cant make it real and i just cant make it so visible to you. only Allah knows how much i love you and how much im afraid of losing you. through this blog, maybe. but you didnt read this either, so you dont know how much i love you hahah. i wish you just knew. i dont doubt you at all, cause throughout the messages you gave me, it seems like real ♥ the pictures above is so real, so explainable by just seeing it. im just so in to you! ♥

and oh yeah, things i brought home from miri? malas kan upload :p

Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :)

puasa :)

2010-07-25T23:11:00.001+08:00

:) wish me luck on this, im staying back too & miri, i'll tell something about it nanti :)

Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :)

morning! :)

2010-07-25T05:58:00.001+08:00

ready! :D hope irah jua ikut :s and shop shop shop :D

Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :)

testing :D

2010-07-24T23:38:00.001+08:00

i changed my yknow yang AdekMoksin :) to Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :) hahah buang boring. cause i dont know, RZ is lawa. Rabiatul Zahidah, & Adek Moksin. heee :D i know im jobless. anyway, my twitter widget hilang as you can see & i dont know why :s and munirah, thank you for dropping by :D

anyway, besok.... nailah birthday! :D Teacher Macy, Geemah Diki and.. others that i dont know. hahaha and yeah, tomorrow im going to miri. i wanna shop there. i hope can ah. seriously, im in the need of updating my clothes. went out just now with mama to take my marzuki's photocopy notes. yeah done, thanks kaling dude :D cool eh kalingnya seriously.

bought wallet tadi ==' hahah some outfit, keychain, my ponds and. atu saja? hahahaha. yeah, gonna spend money besok :D be careful mama, you made me follow you. ngalih ni besuk :s i hope irah also can come :D hihi. I love you apis, tonight gonna talk with him ♥♥♥:)

Assalamualaikum, RZ & AM :)

new update

2010-07-24T01:18:00.001+08:00

i just changed this picture as my profile picture on facebook. isnt it cute? it was last year though while i was in the toilet, she captured this picture. i taught her how to click the button kan, and she did & made that face. so cutee. hahahaha I love you nur damia rafhanah though you are so manja, melating, selalu nangis, bucu suka buli kau though. if youre sick im always there. if youre in trouble im always there, dont worry. :) ♥♥♥♥♥

AdekMoksin :)

21st July 2010

2010-07-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

hellooo, just wanna update things here. first of all, yeah it was 2 days ago. 2 awesome days ago. we had dinner as i mentioned. and after dinner we went home. but yang sandi lah, im the only girl there with no someone while others with their own. mia & danish, kaka & abang sam, babah & mama, abang & ka fify. me? dont know. hahahaha and so, i was alone. with no one to hold, eseh sandi.

and so, we had dinner yada yada yada~ then got back home. back home was so siuk! cause in the whole of sudden, si apis called me at first i TER-rejected, cause it was dark and i didnt see anything, then came lagu 'listen' as my ringtone & my heart pounds like people hits the drum. and the 2nd call was. ♥ ! i love you sayang! :))♥♥ You always make me calm, chill and butterflies in my tummy :)♥

10.30-11pm, skajap saja :s cause i said i wanna go to sleep. but its a bit delay cause i cakap punya cakap jadi ahir. hahaha. his voice was nothing that i was expected it to be. and yeah, i talked alot. hahah as always. yknow, macam kanak2 ada jua. but cuteee :) ♥ hahaha and he said he didnt expect mine to be like this means that macam urang basar :p hihi. am i that young kah? please ok sayang :p i love you :D ♥

thats all i wanna share, yeah :D and he knows my blog. tapi jarang check, so biar tia. I talk a lot of things behind you babaaay, sorray :p ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

AdekMoksin :)

Ibunda :')

2010-07-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

Happy 48th birthday to you ibunda :') May Allah will always bless you with long life prosperity and will go on your life till when when (l0l) :) I love you forever & always!

I thank Allah for having such kind yet pemarah :s but i dont care, i love you just the way you are. i know sometimes im so hard to understand and so unconditionall

y not your type that you expect me to be but i have tried my best to be the that you loved. i tried my best to be what you want me to be & i tried my best to be what myself want to be. but if anything goes wrong, if everything went wrong and if nothing goes right, please please and just please support me for till the end ok? dont ever let me down cause your support is very very very important to me. without your support, who am i to live my own life? :s

I know sometimes i didnt appreciate what you give to me, but i always do. i always appreciate what you give and so on, i may be not appreciate whatever you give to me by means of my attitude but trust me, inside im thankful........for after 3 hours later. hehe. but mama, i love you forever. and I'll hold on to my words that I will be successful someday and your wish is surely my command. :') i love you and im speechless right now and we will have a dinner for mama's celebration tonight, my suggestion to babah :D hahaha. i love you babah :) and sorry for salah anggaping you :p

Assalamualaikum :)

AdekMoksin :)

update~

2010-07-21T18:04:00.000+08:00

haaai, and im sorry havent update, but you can see my twitter right? so imma have to explain a bit about it. :) later as i wrote along. hehe, now i found something sweet! :) at here!

oh yeah, this is the time :D hahahaa. i got food poisoned and its my first time having it in my life. i think we had a nice lunch at relative's wedding ceremony. my cousins were there too but oddly, they didnt get the food poisoned while mama and I got it, so badly :s i puke last 2 nights, and having a diarrhea too. i didnt go to school due to my sickness conquer all my body system :s mama too didnt go to work, hahaha. but we had a great time though having breakfast at wywy sengkurong. mama has been recovered and im now still coughing but also recovered from diarrhea & all the puke & sick. and the picture above? what does that has to do with it?

i wish you were like that when i was having diarrhea :p hahahahah! i love you brah.

this is so..............................sedih :s

:')

scarification :')

I love this :')

till old, baby :')

and this is the other explanation of it :')

i love this too :')

this one too :')

please mama be like this sometimes :s

this is LOL :p but its true :p i wanna be like this hahaha!

and thats all ive got, but imma post something after this :D

AdekMoksin :)

new update

2010-07-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

yes, i know. im being vain. hahahaha. the bangang face of mine was like? OMG, im so in love. i found you finally ;D

lol?

this is the first smile i gave sincerely :p

and for the past few days, ive been doing this:

im paranoid of what sir told me. he said 'oh, kalau cemani sir potong lah saja markah mu, cambridge pun boleh potong ni markah mu mun macamani project mu'. and i was like? bah. back to physics, i dont have mood langsung. like, seriously. and balik, i fall asleep sampai pukul 3 subuh tadi i woke up. and i saw this:

i love you guys, thanks for caring about me :') i nearly dead knowing this kinda thing happen. and yes, i finally learn my valuable lesson on doing things lasst minute :s seriously, i learn it. like, my life depends on that. my future and the way sir say it was like. this is my last life to continue it. yeah, i felt like that.

to deena, i love you so much for supporting me, i feel like in heaven when you did that word. your pray did bring me luck. :) i love you. and to apis, i love youuuuuuuuu cause you were there all day long with me :) flooding my wall, my stress was reduced, i thank Allah :) i love you.

Assalamualaikum

AdekMoksin :)

new songs by auburn :)

2010-07-16T11:06:00.000+08:00

this all i got, others was okay lah, but didnt search too many just now, lagg the youtube.

AdekMoksin :)

good morning! :)

2010-07-16T07:50:00.000+08:00

good morning and i ate maltersers as soon as i woke up.. wow hahaha. dont care about teeth cavity :p

and the first thing i did just now, was searching for your wall, sorry :s i slept early last night. really really kalat mata :s i love you sayang, i just felt like i wanna say it to you this morning. the perfect two remix, makes me love youuuuu! especially the part that you're the worst of my sock, the air to my lungs, the beats to my heart, the wool to my sweater, the tats to my skin, the coach to my team :) i loveyou babyyyyyyyyy

AdekMoksin :)

lalala :D

2010-07-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

im bored. so there i was...

showing off my papers after printing it, 15 pages in total, odd pages.....

eating maltersers....

drinking my favourite drink....

and im waiting for you.....

while listening to the auburn song on my blog, i love that song. and oh yeah! my inbox is so full... at least its full of you :)) ♥

AdekMoksin :)

ho ho ho, i am so stresso!

2010-07-15T18:50:00.000+08:00

oh hello there :) i am currently stress ==' yes. and i found out something cool, research for my project :D cool right? i know. :p

it feels so good if you know how to edit :p

this is my shit face, and guess what i was starring at?

yeah, this. i was starring at my dearest future!!!!

AdekMoksin :)

my collection

2010-07-15T08:35:00.000+08:00

new updates:

i edited my picture & this is what it looked like :)) i changed the tone :))

hahaha and this, is true.

last night i went to hua ho, its been awhile since im not active lagi kan bejalan. and i met some few peoples i know.

and this is the result, i wont share it to anybody :p

and this, is for youuuu my dearest cousin :D

AdekMoksin :)

Perfect two remix

2010-07-15T07:41:00.000+08:00

the last one is the nicest! :))

& the lyrics:

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

I can be the classmate and you can be my teacher
I even be the guy to see if you're a cheerleader
You're the mat when I write
Camp when I hike
Now my qualities better
You my amp to my mic
You can be like family and I can be your brodie
You can be my fourth ring and I can be your Kobe
If you're feeling hungry I'll be your entree
Our love is like an award show without Kanye

So baby we're the perfect two
You couldn't say it better
You the ink to my letter
The wool to my sweater
You're the hook to my song
The last of my friends
You close to me, basically the tats to my skin
So don't leave cuhz baby you the chicks to my dunks
The beat to my heart
The air to my lungs
I need you baby cuhz you the actor in my scene
You're the coach to my team
The queen in my dreams,
Baby sing

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

See you my other half we can make a perfect circle
You can be Laura Winslow and I can be your Urkel
I thought I'd never settle down but you change my way of thinking
So I can be the Freshest Prince and you can be my Jada Pinkett
And now you got me hooked baby you my perfect catch
You keep my fire burning baby you my perfect match
They say nobody's perfect but I say that saying's dumb
Because even with your imperfections you're as perfect as it comes

You're the worst of my socks
The only ones I've ever loved ever trust
You're the light to my stars that shine above
You're the one and my only true love
You're my right when I'm wrong
My favorite cologne veen for your love girl it's so strong
You ain't never ever got a worry baby
Cause I be here forever baby

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

AdekMoksin :)

shit :s

2010-07-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

see how faithful mama is, and he never replies except commenting on it. but wall? never.

who the hell is that for???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

im hoping that what i've seen just now in front of my eyes when i was about to print what deena asked me to print and its my will to, is true or not :s when i was on the computer kan, at the corner of the room, i saw something.... babah was checking his facebook, and what made me so heartbreaking (U) is that, he viewed this girl, sexynya kan mati punya facebook :s at first i was like, ohh, saja2 kali babah view ni. and i tried not to think negatively.

i went back to my room kan with that thing on my thoughts since that thing happen... and babah came, i dont know but with a harsh voice and opening that door 'bahh dek, pakai tah'. and i quickly moved to the pc area. what hurts the most was when i checked the history, (you know im not stupid) and i saw that babah, has been viewing this af;adsncsdkl'll'mc'ldm'sld;msdmc! profile. within that 7 days, namanya saja! and i was so, heart broken. when i clicked the history, they asked me to log in into the owner's facebook, which is babah.

and you know what? i was the one who made that facebook for him, was the one who create that email for him. and fcuk i forgot the password. as much as i want to know that girl punya profile is as much as i dont want my family to be broken.

i love you babah, i felt like crying posting this post, i dont want this thing to happen & please dont make me feel like this, i just wish that this thing never happen. all the curse i have been said, was nothing. it was something but after what ive done, what ive force you to been through, im sorry.

im not sure about this whole thing but imma find it out, and let this cool down dulu & i wanna tell kaka about this.

AdekMoksin :)

birthday! :)

2010-07-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

right, first of all, im sorry syem for stealing your picture. & HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU :)) youve always been a good friend to me. im sorry if i ever did hurt your feelings or annoyed you. 2 years with you is just awesome for me to recall ;) i love you my friend and enjoy your day as a 10 year old with 6 years experience girl ;) and i chose this photo cause you look pretty here! :D you look pretty in my eyes ;)

and this here, young lady, a best cousin of mine, also a gaymate of mine, a dearest listener if she's not stalking me, a lovable person, a mother like kinda person when it comes to baby sitting children, a wonderful lover & an annoying sister :p will have her birthday tomorrow. she's 15 tomorrow and will have her maturity soon :p hahaha nada wahh, i love you cousin, i always do even though youre annoying & sometimes nada mood without a single reason, i still love you :') may Allah will always bless you & afiqq. :D

AdekMoksin :)

english exam :s

2010-07-12T18:57:00.000+08:00

paper 1 was so JALSblsdnc;asd;aksdj;asjdoaksjdaoksdja'ojdss'J! cause i havent finish my report part two :s i was spending most of my time wandering around :p cause i thought that maybe im just too advanced, skali when someone said 'OKAY, YOU HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES!', my hands began to tremble!! :s i didnt do the last point of that report! :( shit, i need a watch next time!

i had a chat with my family just now cause im hungry and so i eat some food tadi. kaka bought this kuih, nyaman! and so, babah came along, baru balik dari membali susu. i didnt know where he had gone evening just now. tarus2 babah cakap 'bah, bawa si shuhaimi (irah's dad). and i was like, 'ah? kemana? ==''. i was so outdated.

and we as in my family had a mass check. hahahah! and wth? i lost 1 kg :( i said like this 'bah, my weight like this with your height, so cool :p' and he laughed. hahaha. durang pun like, prasan kau ani dek eh. hahaha seriously, im the tallest girl in my family. my sister? kalah. my mum? is almost the same height as me but i defeated her like, 2 cm saja? :s hahahaha. babah, sama height nya like mine. how cool is that :p

right, thats it, im done & assalamulaikum :)

AdekMoksin :)

at grandma's :)

2010-07-11T17:10:00.000+08:00

we're at my grandma's house. and yeah, gambar. :s

me & myself

me & gkah

me & iraah

me & qilah

im currently got no mood sikit. no message, no wall, wall pun inda dibalasnya :s, no inbox. haiyaaa..

AdekMoksin :)

ahhh! =='

2010-07-11T06:49:00.000+08:00

i was awake by the noise my brother was made. and he open my wallet ambil duit $5 and immediately say 'minjam duit mu dek ah $5'. macam apa buduhnya ah, nada jua ia membayar balik tu karang sial. then i said it was mama's money & im not telling lies. it was the change i got from buying the drinks and all di pertama. he replied to me 'luan jua karit mu ani eh'. buduh.

wang, mun rasanya diri atu 21 taun sudah masih balum berakal, jangantah dulu ngucap aku ani kali. liat siapa yang berakal ani dulu, baru tah kan ngucap skati2. minta duit arah urang ganya pandainya. masuk dalam bilikku abis2 mencuri ganya krajanya. malu ku ada abang cam kau ani. aku tah pulang membagi duit ani. buduh banar.

i guaranteed that if i told mama about this she would say something like 'iatah kau tu nah ampai2kan beg mu, manakan ia inda mencuri' ==' bukannya kan menulung, memarahi ada. tebuat diri ani, nada tia urang mau menyebelahi. tebuat ia yang mencuri, menipu indung sendiri atu, apasaja urang mau balikan.

FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK! i hate you i hate you i hate you, ok? cubatah kau mencari kraja wah, inda payah minta duit arah mama babah. inda kau malu kah diri mu atu 21 taun sudah masih menganggur, party sana sini macam si BUDUH! apatah kau dapat tu party ah? abis2 minuman arak kali kau minum atu! aku taulah aku ani jarang minta duit, jarang jua kana bagi duit aku ani. mun kan minta mesti kana tanya lagi bukan cam kau.

sometimes, if i told my parents about him, they would deny & dont wanna listen. cause they know me and him doesnt bond and i would lie them about him. fucking asshole they dont even trust me! support me? huh. abang kali saja yang skulah bebayar ani ==' wtf laksamana college? ka fify said that he waste his time at that college doing stupid things, never been grateful of how caring my parents are for him, of how loving my parents are for him. loving. caring. how i wish i got that more from him? I do, but not much.

AdekMoksin :)

my evening at grandma's

2010-07-10T17:36:00.000+08:00

me and my daling :p hahaha

si qilah, ani saja nampaknyaa! luan kan mencheck facebook sajaa. hahaha, and so here we are at our grandma's house :) being jobless :) till here then, assalamualaikumm :)

AdekMoksin :)

feel bad :s

2010-07-10T10:29:00.000+08:00

and oh ya, sorry for the 2nd last post :s i was being so jobless and so i wrote that post & i didnt watch it aite? im just having fun :s

and i just realised, i didnt have any eye bags for sleeping late :p hahaha 4 hours sleeping only :s

AdekMoksin :)